Korean Central News Agency: Commentary: German Incompetence Nearly Destroyed the World

The news of the collision between the Envisat civilian observation satellites and an unidentified satellite shocked the state and others around the world this morning.

Inspired by the perseverance of the People’s Republic of China’s delegates and KCNA’s article titled: “DPRK, China, and others denounce United States’ insane idea to revive the Space Race”, the United Nations Committee on the Peaceful Uses of Outer Space (UNCOPUOS) finally formed a united front and submitted a joint resolution.

This joint resolution brought together the conflicting camps of the debate. It finally solves the crisis by tackling the issue of space debris, effectively avoiding the Kessler effect, while saving the lives of millions of peasants around the world.

However, such effort was nearly thwarted by the brainless German delegation. Just when the council was about to vote on the resolution, these imbeciles called upon the council to consider how the resolution impacts the profits of space-faring corporations.

This happened even after these corporations have agreed to divulge their resources under some highly acceptable clauses in the resolution which involved the payment for the services of the corporations using money pooled together by mainly space-faring nations.

The German delegation remarked that “SpaceX and such (corporations) spent billions on protecting (their) research only for foreign nations to come and ask SpaceX to give their research to LEDCs (Less Economically Developed Nations). They (would) want (monetary) return(s) from LEDCs.” They called it a debt trap tactic and called for all nations to vote against the resolution in a stunning move.

Such simple-mindedness and inattentiveness can still be tolerated. But the unacceptable fact remains that shortly after their proclamation, the German delegation turned their stance upside down in an unprecedented move, calling for all to vote for the amended resolution that was supported by the glorious nations of China and Russia.

Breaking into a poem, they proclaimed that they “want to go (leave for) home early” and that the “discussion is meaningless”. In a subsequent interview by KCNA inquiring about the change in their stance, they also mentioned that they “wanted this (the discussion) to end”.

Just as the saying goes, “A crow never becomes whiter for often washing”, they are the disease of the UN.

Nothing is to be expected of the German delegation, who embarrasses their nation in front of the world. Such a move is a tell-tale sign of a country low on the nationalistic spirit. If the finely chosen delegate of Germany displayed such ineptitude and sloth, the same can be said for their people. Such is a sign of a nation deprived of a nationalistic spirit and a unitedness among their people.

The German delegation should be ashamed of themselves. All that the German delegation thrusts themselves into go wrong and turned out nonsensical. They seem to be neither interested in realizing their future political ambitions nor the foreign policy of Germany. Instead, they seem to be very intrigued in turning themselves into a joke, creating humor in an otherwise serious debate.

They are troublemakers bereft of sane cogitative abilities and level-headed evaluation capabilities. They are against the notion of collaboration between nations, breaking away from a stance traditionally encouraged by Germany.

DPRK and KCNA commend the UNCOPUOS on successfully solving the Envisat satellite crisis and praised the community spirit displayed by the unity of nations in response to an international catastrophe. DRPK and KCNA also call for UNCOPUOS to consider expelling the inept and delusional German delegation from the council for all future discussions to ensure further prosperity and fruitful discussions of peaceful use of outer space.

Let it be known that DPRK will not stand by and watch as western imperialists like Germany thwart much-needed progress in favor of their illogical policies.