America has yet again proven the extent of its willingness to sacrifice the overall good and wellbeing of the world as it chooses competition over cooperation in the latest satellite crash developments. Recently, two satellites crashed in orbit and the delegates of world nations and relevant corporations convened in the UNCOPUOS in the hopes of quickly resolving the pressing issue. A representative of the Islamic Republic News Agency (IRNA) was present during the council and was shocked at the ineffectiveness and roundabout nature of the discussions. During the council, delegates proposed preposterous and insane solutions ranging from launching missiles to clear space debris to host a space debris clearing competition. These solutions were clearly infeasible and impossible, however, delegates continued to propose and even support these such solutions to be implemented. However, amid this illogical chaos, there was one delegate who strongly supported the implementation of these insane solutions and that delegate was the delegate of America.
During the conference, the delegate of America proposed the idea of a space race competition with funds given to the best country in clearing debris to effectively and efficiently clear the deadly debris threatening space activities. However, there is nothing effective or efficient in this solution. This solution would instead possibly be even more dangerous than the already deadly debris currently in our orbit due to the risks and time taken for such an undertaking. Instead of safely clearing the debris, nations and corporations would instead prioritize the fast clearance of this debris, opening the way for dangerous ideas such as the launching of missiles into earth’s orbit or the possibility of increased tensions between nations. Furthermore, this undertaking would only benefit rich nations such as the USA who would be able to fund the research, development, and implementation of such a task. This “ideal” space race proposed by the delegate of America would neglect the cries of the LDCS who are unable to fund such a massive undertaking.
However, this was not the only preposterous statement by the delegate of the USA. The USA also claimed that LDCs would simply slow down the progress and thus should not be major players in resolving this problem. Furthermore, he also accused the LDCs of not “wanting access to technology and information” which is clearly ridiculous seeing that just a few moments prior he had accused the LDCs of slowing the DCs down. This clearly shows the USA’s elitist and arrogant attitude towards the pressing issue and its strong belief that the DCs are sufficient to resolve the problem. It also shows how the USA continues to look down on the capabilities of the other countries while concurrently limiting their abilities through their economic terrorism and exclusion of others in the proposed solutions. Additionally, this limits the effectiveness of the proposed solution as it does not include all the member states in the council.
Furthermore, other insane ideas were also proposed such as the launching of missiles into orbit to clear the debris. This is clearly impossible as the launch of missiles would only cause even more destruction and debris in our orbit and will not fully resolve the current pressing situation. The use of missiles would also result in even more debris as bigger debris would simply break up into smaller pieces hence adding to the problem.
Concurrently, as the delegates in the room were discussing the matter in a roundabout fashion, further damage to satellites has taken place with additional negative implications on civilians in multiple nations. Communication across the world has been cut due to the satellite crashes hence making this incident one of the worst witnessed by the world thus far. In the midst of this crisis, the IRNA would like to appeal to the delegates of UNCOPUOS to quickly come to a consensus on how to deal with the threat and hopefully safeguard the future to prevent such accidents from occurring again. The IRNA would also like to request the delegate of the USA to put aside his biases and work together with the rest of council to propose and implement feasible, realistic solutions.
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